Please, I need some help with this...?

Or maybe just someone to talk to about this. I was medically discharged from the Army in September for seizures. I have them under control now, but now I am facing something that I don't know how to control. I can't find work. I can't keep a steady relationship with anyone. I am at a wall with no rope to climb it. I don't seem to enjoy things the way I used to. I write...terrible things. Things that were inside me that I never knew existed inside me before. I think about death constantly. I have dreams that are reoccurring that I can't seem to get rid of. I can't sleep most nights...please I am a little ashamed to ask this of complete and total strangers, but I don't really know of any other alternative...I don't want my family to know about this. Please. Anyone.